to inspire, you must aspire

Success depends in a very large measure upon individual initiative and exertion. – Anna Pavlova, Russian ballerina

Women. By nature, we’re caretakers. Of children, friends, parents, siblings, neighbors. Of anyone in need, really. We care for those who are part of our circle. And sometimes, we even look outside of our circle, to help others in need.

And this is a beautiful trait. A necessary one.

But not always a balanced one.

There is a risk and a cost to consistently sidelining your own personal needs and dreams for the sake of others. Giving everything away leaves you, at some point, with nothing left to give.

And that doesn’t serve anyone well.

When is the last time you spent concentrated time on your own personal goals and aspirations, whatever they may be?

If doing so were to give you hope, energy, a little joi de vive – don’t you think that would be time well spent? Isn’t it possible this would bring light into not only your life, but into the lives of those who love you?

Remember, those you care for want to see you happy, too. Just as you love to see their dreams unfold before them, they hold the same desire for you. And consider this: Your actions may be a greater source of inspiration to them than your words.

So be a caretaker of yourself, for the good of everyone. Set aside some time (even just an hour or two) to pursue what you want to be or do, where you want to go from here.

fwm contributor, Laura Lopez, writes an inspiring account of how and why to do so, titled “Committing to Growth and Change”. It’s well worth the read.

As she puts it, “ironically, we can only be of real service to others when we first invest in ourselves.”

Agree or disagree? As always, we’d love to hear things from your point of view…

When the long hours are totally worth it...

The cost of something is the amount of life that you must exchange for it.

I've seen this quote before, but I saw it again this morning while standing in line to pay at my favorite country market. Just being in there puts me in a good mood, because the people who run it have a passion for what they are doing and it shows in every home-made item. And in the lovely quotes they put up on their white board by the cash register.

I've had jobs I loved and I worked a lot of hours at them. When I married, and when I later became a mother, the amount of life I was exchanging for a good job and a good paycheck somehow became too big a cost. I do a different type of work now. In a small way, I am helping to launch fwm. My role isn't the biggest one on the team but like everyone else here, what I do does matter.

I suppose here would be the place in the story where I happily report that I work less hours and have more time with my family. Well, I do. However, that doesn't mean there aren't some weeks that require more hours--there are. I'm happy to work them. Why? Didn't I leave that all behind? I'm happy to work those hours because we're building something here that matters and because this work fits perfectly into my life (I do a portion of it from a home office).

Carolyn and Jen have had big jobs and worked tons of hours, too. And now they have big jobs and work tons of hours. What's the difference? Fwm is theirs and they are building it with a passion and dedication that differs from other kinds of work.

You entrepreneurs know what this is--so tell us about it. Did it come as a surprise to you that you have had to work some unbelievable hours to build your business? Is the cost worth it to you?

Purpose.

Some may not agree with me. But I think more than not do.

I am a firm believer that each of us is gifted with specific talents, and a purpose for which we are to use them. And, to add to that thought, I believe our greatest joys in life come from following those talents, that purpose.

Not that the path is all rosy when we do, but it has meaning. Direction.

Certainly, I’ve wandered off my path more often than not. But I guess my point is that, when I’m on the path, I know it. And it feels right.

I have talents and a purpose as a mother, a wife, an employee, a friend, a daughter, a sister, an aunt.

And, as pertains to what we’re doing here at fwm, what truly matters to me is finding my gifts and reason for being in each of those roles. And doing my very best to fulfill them.

At the end of the day, that’s what I want my life to stand for.

Little else matters to me.

Starting a Business: "Of Coffee and Pastries"

Not long ago, I had a dream of opening a bakery/coffee shop.

It was a fabulous idea, as it effectively combines my love for baking with my love for having a good chat over a slice of lemon loaf and cup of coffee.

What more raison d’etre did I need? (See, I sound like a baker already. And a good one.)

But my dream effectively was squelched when I honestly assessed my life patterns in direct correlation to my new business idea. Simply put, I am a homebody. And a night owl. I realized I’d begin filling pastries and baking muffins about three hours later than I usually go to bed. And spending more waking hours away from, than at, home.

I’d be grumpy.

And nobody likes a grumpy baker. Shoots the whole jolly-pink-cheeked-flour-dusted-nose image thing.

On top of that, there was the whole two-step with a business plan and financing. Yawn. (Sorry – did I just do that?) Honestly, all that just sucked the fun right out of it for me.

And so, I remain happily employed. No start-ups on the horizon. But I’m thinking that, should a new idea come to mind, it’s got to be something I can do from home between 10PM and 2 in the morning. And love enough to withstand all the red tape.

Hey, I know my parameters. I’d say that’s 101 in starting a business.

For now, I’ll stick with writing. And baking during writer’s blocks.