Help Wanted! Snapshot of a Working Mom

My sister is an impeccable, loving, mother (with two adorable and well-adjusted kids to show for it). She constantly sacrifices (sleep, mostly), to make sure that the home priorities are in order and done well. She’s even one of those who will stay up a little later to make sure dishes aren’t left in the sink. Her kids’ toys are organized, for pete’s sake. She gladly left a high-paying corporate job for a more flexible arrangement that allowed her to work part of her hours at home. Don’t get an “annoying perfectionist” picture in your head, though—we’re talking about a real gal who is willing to admit and even showcase her shortcomings, especially if it gives her an opportunity to make you laugh.

So imagine my reaction when she told me a little anecdote last week: She ran into one of her neighbors at the park. They were meeting for the first time, and they chatted about their children (what else do parents talk about with other parents?). When my sister mentioned that she is part home-based, part office-dweller, with a nanny helping out, the other mother immediately, and smugly, sniffed, “I have never paid anyone to watch my children!” Ouch. Nice chatting with you.

The sad part is, this is a woman with a rather wealthy husband, and a large extended family right there in town. So, she likely pays someone to handle other daily chores such as cleaning, which frees her up to be with the children. She also has an army of grandparents and other relatives who regularly assist with the child supervision. And you know what? That’s great! There is nothing at all wrong with her arrangement.

The fact is, whether you have children or not, when you are a working woman, you need HELP and you should never feel guilty about seeking it, accepting it, or paying it if that is what works for you. Besides, all together now…there is no one right way to do this! So—tell us—what works for you? Let us learn from you. No one here will criticize your set-up. This is a smug-free zone. We promise.