It all started with a window

Quite literally, a window has changed my life.

Upon moving into our new home three years ago, we child-checked and child-proofed every room from top to bottom, as we have three young girls. But we missed the window.

Days later our then 2-year-old, Audrey, pushed the screen and tumbled out, falling three floors to the ground below.

It seemed like an eternity before I reached her. Like running in a dream, my brain was racing but everything else seemed to be in slow motion. The horrors I imagined in my mind prior to reaching her still haunt me.

I am convinced an angel carried Audrey to the ground, because after a full medical evaluation, she left the hospital the next day with only a bruise on her leg.

The whole instance shook me to my very core. And caused me to reevaluate my priorities and my goals in life. The reality of life being fragile caused me to take personal inventory.

Right around that time, Carolyn and I began talking about the importance of building a life that allows for career success and as well as life’s other priorities. It’s something that personally resonates with each of us. We talked about how there’s really no company or brand addressing this growing need among women.

And then, it just became apparent. We needed to start that company.

The rest is history unfolding, in fwm: finding what matters.

To bring things full circle, NBC’s The Today Show aired a segment this past Friday on child safety, during which I had the opportunity to share Audrey’s story with millions of viewers. This is something that is very important to me, as I have a strong desire to help others avoid a similar scare – or, worse yet, a tragedy. The Today Show segment gave me that opportunity.

Amazing how everything works.

And it all started with a window. My daughter was kept safe (a gift for which I will be forever grateful), and I was propelled to a new and more meaningful career and family life.

Have you ever experienced something that has caused you to reevaluate your work and life? Please share.

And thanks for hearing my story. I feel blessed that it’s brought me here, to you.

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Watch fwm co-founder, Jen Marr, in a featured “child safety” segment on The Today Show.

Working From Home: No Shower, Mommy!

When I started to work full time again, my recently-turned-three daughter didn't credit my "mom account" for the times in her life that I worked part time, when I would sometimes work in the middle of the night so I could be with her the next day (part devotion, part typical freelancer-with-lack-of-regular-childcare). It was a double whammy: more hours and a big project that temporarily required five days per week at the office. "Temporarily" is not a concept for three-year-olds. All my sweetie knew was that I was no longer just a staircase away in my basement office...and she wasn't pleased.

I wasn't either, despite loving the new job. I could hardly even look at other moms pushing strollers past me in the city, knowing that earlier that morning, I had to poke my own daughter's fingers back into the house so I could safely shut the door and not miss my bus. Her screaming was so bad during my departure, that even my eight-month-old son joined in the chorus of terror one morning, thus blowing my rationalization that I least I wasn't screwing up both my kids.

Then things started to improve. I was able to work from home again for one day a week, and sometimes two! One "office-day" morning, I started my shower and I heard the screaming that typically accompanied my coat coming out of the closet: "NO! DON'T take a shower mommy! NO SHOWER! NO SHOWER." My smart little gal had caught on that I don't shower on days I work at home. My child actually breathes easier when she sees me in sweatpants and a ponytail.

Some days--just to survive--I would resort to lying that I was just going shopping. Other days I would say I was going to visit our friends Mrs. Marr and Mrs. Ketchup. (Carolyn gets a kick out of that!)

Then one day, it was over. My daughter announced, "I'm not going to cry today, Mommy." She even gave me a present as I went to leave: a Little People person. It was a well-earned trophy, if I do say so.

We made it through.

Now I go to the office a few times a week, sometimes (gasp!) by choice, because although I have babysitting, I can still hear the screaming upstairs. And as awful this sounds, it's sometimes better not knowing. Plus, showering's a good thing.

My name is Domenica and I'm a guilt addict.

Help Wanted! Snapshot of a Working Mom

My sister is an impeccable, loving, mother (with two adorable and well-adjusted kids to show for it). She constantly sacrifices (sleep, mostly), to make sure that the home priorities are in order and done well. She’s even one of those who will stay up a little later to make sure dishes aren’t left in the sink. Her kids’ toys are organized, for pete’s sake. She gladly left a high-paying corporate job for a more flexible arrangement that allowed her to work part of her hours at home. Don’t get an “annoying perfectionist” picture in your head, though—we’re talking about a real gal who is willing to admit and even showcase her shortcomings, especially if it gives her an opportunity to make you laugh.

So imagine my reaction when she told me a little anecdote last week: She ran into one of her neighbors at the park. They were meeting for the first time, and they chatted about their children (what else do parents talk about with other parents?). When my sister mentioned that she is part home-based, part office-dweller, with a nanny helping out, the other mother immediately, and smugly, sniffed, “I have never paid anyone to watch my children!” Ouch. Nice chatting with you.

The sad part is, this is a woman with a rather wealthy husband, and a large extended family right there in town. So, she likely pays someone to handle other daily chores such as cleaning, which frees her up to be with the children. She also has an army of grandparents and other relatives who regularly assist with the child supervision. And you know what? That’s great! There is nothing at all wrong with her arrangement.

The fact is, whether you have children or not, when you are a working woman, you need HELP and you should never feel guilty about seeking it, accepting it, or paying it if that is what works for you. Besides, all together now…there is no one right way to do this! So—tell us—what works for you? Let us learn from you. No one here will criticize your set-up. This is a smug-free zone. We promise.