5 hugs a day. and other little-big things that matter.

Posted by: Renata | Posted on: May 02, 2008 | Comments 7

My dad always has said that everyone should get and give at least 5 hugs a day.

I grew-up believing that’s true. And I still do. To that end, I am one of the least-restrained huggers you’ll ever meet. (Although I’ve learned that unsolicited hugs freak some people out, so I’m respectful of that.)

My point? Hugs matter. As much as – if not more than – other “high profile” priorities, like submitting the quarterly report on time, getting the kids to soccer practice, and cleaning out the garage every spring (although, admittedly, that feels really good).

On his blog, The Simple Dollar, fwm contributor and financial expert, Trent Hamm, wrote a recent post about this very thing, called The Things Money Can’t Buy. It’s a great read. And a great perspective – especially from someone who spends his days focused on finances.

Hugs are quick, free, easy. Yet, for their small effort, they impart a significant worth on those who give and get them. I know. I grew-up with parents who gave them freely, and often. Because it mattered to them to do so. And today, it matters to me.

So tell me – what little-big thing(s) matter(s) to you?

Related tags: family, finance, happiness

7 people have responded so far. Add your comment below.
Lori R said:
05.02.08 10:33 a.m.
While we're on the subject of affection, something that matters to me is to kiss my husband hello and goodbye every day, no matter what. I'm looking around my house right now, and there is not a single room in it that is picked up and organized, but each member of my family got an "I love you" this morning and my husband got that kiss.
Jane Chin said:
05.02.08 1:08 p.m.
I firmly believed that my mental health has improved 500% in the past 2 months because of how much hugs and kisses I give to my baby on a daily basis. Sure, the beginning weeks are extremely difficult, but even when I wasn't getting the level of interaction from my son as I'm getting today, there's something about unabashed giving of affection that does my mental health good. I also love talking with my husband - we can go into very deep and philosophical questions or a light hearted conversation. I love his sense of humor and he gets my quirkiness. Hearing birds chirping outside my office window puts me in a great mood too.
Viviana said:
05.02.08 4:42 p.m.
@ Lori, I feel the same way!! The hellos and good-byes matter! What else matters to me that doesn't cost a dime? Common courtesy. It costs absolutely nothing in time and money to say please, thank you, and other niceties. Smiling at a convenience store cashier or diner waitress can have an impact on that person's life, when the rest of their day was likely full of people who gave orders and moved on. It's a small way of connecting with other human beings and it matters.
Dorinne said:
05.02.08 5:54 p.m.
This is one of my favorite subjects! I also grew up in a household that gave hugs an kisses.My family ages range from sixties to forties with our parents in their eighties. It is also a tradition to stand at the door and wave good-bye! I remember hearing that you should always say good-bye and I love you because you never know what could happen. And yes, I also grew up saying please and thank you, as I have done on this site many times. I appreciate the time that others extend in my behalf. Something else that matters, honest commendation! It does wonders for morale and productivity. It honors peoples contributions to whatever the occasion. Young ones need it and they need to be taught how to give as well. The world would be so much nicer if we did express more appreciation!
Tricia Molloy said:
05.03.08 8:29 a.m.
Yes, hugs are great...and so is smiling! I remind myself to smile when I want to feel better and more confident. Just 20 seconds of "fake smiling" changes my whole outlook. I feel endophins released in my body, like when you have a real good laugh or go for a run. Smiling also affects others. I share a little story on my blog: http://www.workingwithwisdomblog.com/ I hope it makes you smile.
Viviana said:
05.03.08 8:46 a.m.
@Tricia, your "fake smiling" makes me think of something that happened early in my career. My first career incarnation (12 glorious years worth) was in hotel management. My first job out of college was working in a luxury hotel at Disney World in Orlando. Hotel policy was to smile and offer an appropriate greeting every time you encountered a guest or another cast member (as employees were called). It seemed insincere and a bit fascist to me in orientation training (a draconian smiling policy???), but all of that smiling and greeting has an undeniable affect on one's outlook. It wasn't insincere at all--smiling and being smiled at lifts your spirits. I like your blog post...as always...and I am so glad you are on board as an fwm expert contributor!
Mary Kay said:
05.15.08 12:02 p.m.
Hugs are the best! I met a new friend two years ago in a book club. After about the third time we met, I gave her a warm hug in greeting. She pulled me aside at the end of our meeting. With shiny eyes, she told me that I hug her like her mom used to. (Her mom had passed away a few years prior from cancer.) It was one of the best compliments and since that time we have built a special friendship. There is nothing like a good hug: from your friends, from your husband, from your children. Like a smile, it's a good kind of contagious!
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